DRUMMER OFFENSES
BASS OFFENSES
TRUMPET INFRACTIONS
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NAME OF DRUMMER: __________________________________
DRUMMERS REAL NAME: _______________________________
(other than "sticks", "backbeat", "snake", "drowned-out" ... etc.)
DATE OF OFFENSE(S): _____ / _____ / _______
Setup / Equipment Offenses:
[ ] Brings a 36" bass drum ..$25.
[ ] Has more than one bass drum. ..$100.
[ ] Brings a 10" deep snare (for a solid back beat)..$50.
[ ] Brings more than 2 mounted toms ..$25.
[ ] Has a tubular chrome bar that holds all his mounted toms ..$50.
[ ] Brings more than one floor tom .$25.
[ ] Brings more than one crash cymbal ..$25.
[ ] Doesn't bring a ride cymbal..$250.
[ ] Brings a 46" Chinese gong (for big endings)..$75.
[ ] Brings two timpani (for really big endings)..$100.
[ ] Doesn't bring any brushes..$300.
[ ] Has a hi-hat that is welded shut..$250.
[ ] Asks leader where he can plug in his headphones..$200.
[ ] Wears old black Nike sneakers on tux gig..$50.
[ ] Tunes snare drum during the benediction..$175.
Playing Offenses:
[ ] Plays eighth note rock ballad style on "Stardust"..$150.
[ ] Pretends to read chart with big band..$25.
[ ] Actually reads drum part for big band (note for note)..$200.
[ ] Asks bass player "Where are we?" on "Happy Birthday"..$100.
[ ] Plays disco beat on "A Train"..$200.
[ ] Takes fours on "The Bride Cuts the Cake"..$100.
[ ] Takes a break when the leader says "A request for Take 5"..$25.
[ ] Actually tries to play on "Take 5"..$150.
[ ] Asks leader what brushes are..$250.
[ ] Plays breaks in "Cute" with sticks..$50.
[ ] Plays breaks in "Cute" on timpani..$100.
[ ] Plays breaks in "Cute" on Chinese gong..$250.
[ ] Juggling drumsticks during song ..$250.
[ ] Losing time while juggling drumsticks ..$350.
[ ] Failure to catch juggled drumsticks ..$500.
[ ] Stop playing to pick up dropped drumstick(s) ..$1250.
Other Miscellaneous Offenses:
[ ] Mentions to host that "DJs are the wave of the future..$100.
[ ] Is first in line at the party's buffet..$50.
[ ] Asks where the "take-out bags" are at the buffet line..$100.
[ ] Asks the bartender for 3 "Purple Shooters"..$50.
[ ] Says to the bride "You've got a nice set of hooters"..$25.
[ ] Says to the brides mother "Hey this is a f#%*in' good party"..$150.
[ ] Is ten minutes late for the next set..$25.
[ ] Is twenty minutes late for the next set..$10.
[ ] Never shows up for the next set..$1.
(copy and paste into word processor at time of use)
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